Healing Is A Choice - How I Eradicated Physical Symptoms With a Mindset Shift
You have to decide that you want to heal.
Sure, there are aspects of living a healthy lifestyle that play a role. But generally speaking the decision is the catalyst for healing.
It sounds almost easy. Just decide to heal and boom, you’re on your way. It’s like the workouts that you look over prior to doing them and think, “that doesn’t seem too bad.” When in reality, they’re usually some of the toughest ones to get through.
That’s how I see the choice to heal. Because while it is all in the choice, the choice is wrapped up in so much making it an intricate process to untangle.
I woke up one day late last year and decided I was done being sick. I was done with Instagram scroll holes of health accounts. I was done spending $500 a month on supplements. I was done skipping out on events because I didn’t feel good. I was done.
Done! Done! Done!
Now, I’ve said that before and reverted back to my old ways for two reasons that I recognize now. One, I wasn’t ready. Two, I didn’t get it.
This time, there was no going back.
Who’s not ready to heal? That seems preposterous, right? We all want to feel good and to live a healthy life. To say otherwise is insulting. That’s what I thought and maybe that’s what you’re thinking too.
But I promise that if there’s one thing I’ll always do, it’s to tell you the truth.
And the truth is, that a lot of sick people out there don’t want to heal. I was one of them and maybe you are too.
Why wouldn’t you want to heal? I can’t answer that for you, but I can tell you why I didn’t want to so very deep down.
I didn’t want to heal because my sickness provided me with things that I didn’t otherwise know how to have or hold. It was boundary setting without having to say no. If I didn’t want to do something, I didn’t feel good. Now, this wasn’t just in my head or a made up excuse. If I knew an event was coming up that I didn’t want to do (for whatever reason) then I would literally get symptoms and be sick.
“Sorry, I can’t make it. I’m sick.”
And even if there was something that I wanted to go do but was nervous about for whatever reason, I would feel sick the entire time. Truly!! I would be fine all day or the day before. But the time would come to go do the thing and here comes the acid reflux or some symptom that I could deal with, but consumed my presence of the moment.
The sickness was a way to stay home and relax, a way to not partake in the hustle and bustle of society. It was a way to do so without saying no.
When I started to recognize all of the things that I was doing out of obligation and guilt then things began to change. I stopped participating as much and I only showed up when I truly wanted to be there. By doing that I had a great time and I felt good too.
It was as if my resiliency to sickness strengthened as my boundaries became clear.
As for not getting it. I didn’t understand the mindset aspect of healing. Sure, I’ve been familiar with Joe Dispenza, Bruce Lipton, Radical Remission, etc. for years and I wanted that. I did the mediations, I read the books, I watched the documentaries, and I was still sick. What I didn’t understand was that changing your mind is something that happens on a deep level and often in collaboration with changing your life.
The popular phrase, you can’t heal in the same environment that you got sick in, is something that I’ve always felt to be true. Oftentimes, we think that means that we have to quit our jobs, sell our belongings, and move to Mexico. And while yes, I do believe that physical environment is so immensely important, hello mold, I now recognize that your internal environment is a component as well.
Let’s go deeper.
So we have our beliefs. These are things that we have learned from adults as we grew up and these are things we have learned from the outside world, both as children and adults. All of this shapes our relationship to ourself and the world around us. If you are miserable at your job every day then your internal environment is not very hospitable for health and radiance. If you’re in a relationship or have relationships in your life that drain you then you are not watering your own internal garden which results in your personal plants slowly dying. If you’re feeling the call to workout consistently or to stop by the bookstore each day on your way home from work but you ignore it, then your intuition is going to go into hibernation which will create disconnect from yourself, leaving you more susceptible to not questioning others and taking their advice no matter what.
Recognizing these two things helped me to make the changes that I needed to make and to turn the switch from sick to healed.
I know that typing this up seems so out of reach for where you might be at. But it’s simply one step at a time. One recognition at a time. And then it’s one day where you wake up and see it all different. One day that things click.
I had to break up with supplements and protocols before I was able understand this. It’s like I was “dating” Dr. Google, practitioners, protocols, and supplements. I had to break up with them, and process that break up with the work I mention above before I was able start dating (and eventually marry) someone new, and that someone new is healing.
You can’t have one foot in trust and deep mindset work while having the other foot in the rabbit hole of jumping from practitioner to practitioner and not trusting their advice because of an Instagram post that you saw. Sure, sometimes there are supplements that we take and are deeply serving to us. I’m not saying to throw it all away. But there’s a difference between taking a binder after a sauna session and obsessing over your healing protocol with 22 supplements on it. I don’t believe you can do the latter while making the deep healing strides on that truly foundational level of mindset.
This is a path of divine clarity. You’re never given more than you can handle even if it feels like that’s untrue sometimes. Starting to view your physical symptoms as a gift that provides an opening to connect you deeper spiritually is helpful in the beginning of the perspective shift. From there you can recognize all of the magic within the experience and how it is serving you even in the midst of the frustration and all-consuming nature of physical symptoms. You were given this path for a reason. Now is your change to uncover it and turn it into something beautiful.
